“O holy crap! This sweater’s due tomorrow,
The sleeves aren’t done and the neckline’s a mess.
Why didn’t I start all this in September?
For now I’m drinking to counter all this stress.
My brain is gone; I’m starting to hear voices,
I want to break my crochet hooks in half.
Fall to the floor! Swear here! And make some choices,
Make sleeves or to sleep? Oh why do you have two arms?
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